Thoughts about Thirty

This year, I will celebrate my 30th birthday.  While others at my age are terrified at the prospect of being officially "old" (again, not my words), I am immensely excited for this milestone. The middle of my 20s were difficult, and I feel like I am on the upswing. This is truly my time. 

Birthdays also can have many different meanings to different people, which is true in my case, at least for the last half of my life.  Today is the 30th birthday of my dear friend, Emily Joy Owen.  Emmy was not on this earth for nearly enough time, a mere 15 years. She was a bright and vibrant dancing soul, with enthusiasm that could sweep you into any adventure and a hug that could melt any broken heart back together.  I consciously carry her with me every day.  Most days she is both a happy thought in my mind as well a heavy weight in my heart. Along with her birthday, she also features prominently around my birthday: I attended her funeral on the day I turned 15.

Thirty presents me with a devastating math problem  She has now been gone from this world for the same length of time that she was in it. More than that, it is surprising to think that she has now been a memory much longer than she was in my life at all.  Five years of friendship might seem negligible to some, and definitely it is just a blip in the history of time.  I am taken aback when I think that most of the people that I share my life with now don't even know that she was here...they weren't there when she was here or in the early years after she died when it was such a massive, less gentle part of my life.  

At this point, you might be asking, "Why are you sharing something so personal on a new blog?" 

Mostly, because today is her birthday.  And I will shout from the rooftops that such an amazing person was here on this earth, no matter for how short a time.  

But also, for as much as I talk about how excited I am for my 30th, this is something that will always be on my mind and in my heart, and in my new adventures and journeys, I will never forget how brief life can be and how every moment is a gift.  Knowing about Emily will help you to know me better, and I am happy to share.

**I often think about the person she would be today.  Most likely, I think, she would be a teacher.  A part of me hopes, however, that we would have been on our journey of dance/movement therapy together.